I’ve given birth to a baby girl on 14th July. I actually worked all the way and didn’t take advance maternity leave. So the day before, I was on halfday and in the afternoon we went for appointment. My doctor said baby’s head is already engaged or ‘locked’ so I could be anytime. Coincidentally, my husband’s best friend had just given birth and their edd is 24 July which is 5 days apart from me. We visited them and I think that made the husband kinda panic that he should be finishing up his carpentry work on the baby cot.
We did all the necessary things that day, booking of aqiqah for her, it feels surreal to see the father-to-be to write our own daughter’s name on the application form. We went home after that and the husband continued fixing the baby cot. It was already about 6+pm and the he said ‘ok baby girl you can come out now, faster quick’. Later in the night about 10.30pm, I went into the kitchen and my waterbag broke. Water was flowing non-stop and I had to wear pad. The husband quickly grabbed the hospital bag and we took taxi. I was afraid that I will wet the taxi seat. I could still walk all the way to the delivery suite as I don’t feel any pain yet.
The pain started throughout the night, I told myself ‘no epidural no epidural’. The husband was all the way beside me. Told him to buy something to eat but he refused. Till the next morning 9am, I was only 4cm dilated and it’s already so painful and the back pain was constantly there. I couldn’t endure anymore even the laughing gas don’t work. The midwife reminded me not to request for epidural too late as by the time we couldn’t sit still for them to inject into the dura space between the nerve and the spine. I succumbed to epidural eventually and by the time, my legs couldn’t straighten. There was still pain even after the epidural. My legs were already so numb and they couldn’t move. I already felt like giving up, and everytime the docs do their 4hrs round to dig into our vagina to check how far we are dilated, it’s so painful my butt get lifted.
By 4pm, they said I’m already 9cm dilated and I’ve used up my epidural. So the midwife said there’s no point topping up the epidural and they want me to feel the pain to push. As baby’s head is going downwards, it gets painful and intense. By the time, I was having high fever while pushing. They said could be the effect of epidural. So I had like wet tissues all over my chest and forehead to bring down my temperature. Eventually, she’s born at 5.20pm and I didn’t know where I had the energy from. So my labour was more than 12 hours and alhamdullilah she’s born ❤
I’m at 36 weeks now, initially I thought I was at 34. After our latest appointment, our doc said I’m left with approx 2-3 weeks to labour. I was caught by surprise though. I’m not sure whether I’m prepared to be a mum. Although I’ve read a lot of religious pregnancy books, articles and attending antenatal classes, I’m not sure what to expect for labour and I’m afraid of raising my own kids expecially with so many influences in this era.
Both legs are swollen, which some aunties commented that I could be due for labour soon. Currently, at 65kg which I’ve reached my max BMI weight range for my height and the baby is at 2.4kg. Pregnant mothers already have lack of confidence seeing our body changes so much throughout the pregnancy, the breasts change, the butt changes, facial features change. Every morning to work, I’m battling with what clothes I should wear.
Being pregnant is a wonderful experience, feeling the baby swimming inside you and responding to your touch that you start to feel how amazing Allah’s creation is. Then, we start to know how our mothers sacrifice for us. I wish I could be there when she is growing up that even maternity leave would be insufficient. And then there is this one thing that strikes me, do you think it would be alright/fair for us if our own kids send us to daycare old folks’ home when we’re old since we send them to childcare/studentcare? They will probably go through what we went through, costs of living is high, they have to work to support their own family and us as grandparents. That’s a reality check there.
I read an article about how some of us regard our parents as a ‘maid’ who take care of our babies/kids. The article quoted that even if our mothers are sick, they had to take care of our babies/kids and if something happen we tend to blame our parents. Our parents are that age who wants to focus more on ibadah. I felt bad for my mum for missing her recitation classes in future. Infant care is already more than $1000 unless the parents’ workplace have a childcare centre, after subsidy at my workplace, I get quoted of $600+ which could be deducted by CDA account by the govt. Govt will match dollar for dollar for what we deposited and that the govt dollar can not be withdrawn in cash and can only be used for approved childcare institutions, medical bills and bla2. So that indirectly means having a child we should be financially prepared. So, the one who could benefit in this scheme would be working parents. (Correct me if I’m wrong.) I asked around my colleagues that most of them have used up their CDA account mainly for child/infant care.
The husband has set aside a fix monthly sum so that we could kickstart the CDA account from the start of my pregnancy. While the mummy just can’t stop buying baby dresses and tights. Alhamdullilah the husband manage to keep quite a sum and mummy will just top up a little to make it even. We’re going to shop for baby cot today and next week insya Allah we’ll open an account for her under UOB. ❤
I don’t really feel much of a difference, didn’t feel that something is really growing inside my tummy. I didn’t have any morning sickness. However, I do have headaches on and off. My ointment is my bestfriend. Husband was kind enough to prepare milk every morning.
The start of the 4th month, I started to vomit and have morning sickness. Every morning before going off to work, I felt headache and nauseous. I vomit in the house before going to work, at his bike upon reaching my workplace, basically just vomit everywhere. I couldn’t take milk in the morning anymore since I vomit it out. 5th month onwards I started to feel baby movements. It’s just so amazing. I didn’t have much cravings except that since I don’t really eat fruits and veggies, my only favourite fruit craving was Cempedak. We registered for antenatal course. It was really beneficial for us and we learnt a lot. We did exercising, learning breathing techniques and many more. I would recommend first time mothers to enrol in the course. MIL gave me a lot of religious books regarding pregnancy. So here are some surahs in the Quran that we could read during pregnancy based on one of the books I read by Ustazah Siti Nurbayyah.
Surah Yusuf: Memperoleh anak yang cantik rupa dan cantik akhlak
Surah Yassin: Untuk Ketenangan hati dan anak tidak terpengaruh dengan godaan syaitan yang mengajak kepada maksiat
Surah Maryam: mempermudahkan ibu bersalin dan memperolehi anak yang sabar dan taat
Surah Al Fatihah: Tenang hati dan kuat ingatan
Surah Luqman: memperoleh anak yang cerdik akal dan jiwa
Surah At Taubah: membersih jiwa dan terpelihara dari maksiat
Surah An Nahl: melahir anak yang berdisiplin
Surah Hujurat: memperbanyakkan susu ibu dan anak bersifat hati-hati
I silently want a pretty baby, so I actually read more Surah Yusuf and Surah Maryam more. Oops
Movements and kicks are more stronger. I am currently at 31 weeks now. The closest labour story I could ask is my mum. She gave birth to us independently without epidural. I’m really determined not to use it. Hopefully. So far, there’s no heartburns. BUT, I am sweaty at night and perspire buckets which cause me to have trouble sleeping. Gynae gave me the green light to fast. The first few days I fast I noticed she moved lesser or not so strong kicks or punches. I felt tired and as if I’m going to faint after 6pm. I got scared so for now I’m not fasting. Hospital bag is almost ready.
As the tummy grows bigger, I have this fear in me. I think every first time mothers would feel the same way. Fear of not being able to return to my normal figure before pregnancy. Probably this fear would sound so lame, especially after giving birth the topic would be whether we could breastfeed.
Lastly, all baby stuffs like milk bottles, steriliser, milk bottle warmer, breast pump, diapers,baby-friendly detergents, her shower gels, her mini bath tub, clothes, stroller, baby carrier are all prepared except for baby cot and her bedding which we’re still hunting. During my maternity leave, we’ll be travelling overseas with the baby, a place where we never expect we’re going too soon with our big family. It feels like a crazy idea. (I’ll blog about this on a separate post.) So we’ll just do what’s necessary like tahnik, aqiqah and cukur rambut in the mosque. Insya Allah.
At week 26, we got into a fatal bike accident in front of Stevens Station at night. Yes, I know I was partly at fault because I chose to ride the husband bike. It just so happened on that fateful day , we had our dinner outside and went home by bike. We were in the third lane, at the most front of the stop line while waiting for the light to turn green. Our lane could either turn right towards raffles town club or go straight.
When the light turned green, the car on the second lane behind us moved forward and was showing signs of either turning right or going straight. The first 2 lanes can only turn right, so that means he can’t go straight. He went straight instead so it hit us at the junction and our bike fell to the right. Everything happened so fast, and all the vehicles were moving while we fell on the road. The husband kicked the bike to the left so that we could get out of the bike. Some kind-hearted bikers pushed our bike to the side. My husband helped me up on the road. My right leg was in pain.
Waited for the ambulance, the husband requested them to send me to Kkh first since it’s the nearest. Initially they wanted to send us to SGH so they could check us both. My husband couldn’t think straight, he was in distraught seeing me in that condition and was worried about our baby. So I got the feel of the ambulance with the husband, they asked me so many questions and they checked my heart rate. Of course, my heart rate was fast. They asked whether I fell head first, tummy first or bla3. My leg was wrapped, and their priority was the baby, so alhamdullilah she was fine, they monitored her heartbeat and movements on a loud speaker. Meanwhile, the husband was waiting outside for me and our parents rushed down. No medication was given so imagine I had to endure the leg pain. I was sitting on a wheelchair. After about an hour of observation, I could go home while the parents sent my husband to another hospital. He went home late after midnight as he went to make a police report. I was so tired but I couldn’t sleep. The pain was excruciating and we realised that one side of my leg hit the exhaust so it was burnt while the other side of the ankle hit the rough road.
By then, my leg was super huge, swollen like an elephant. Putting down my leg from the bed, the pressure was so painful. I was practically limping. I was hopeless and useless. My husband put up a strong front in front of me, he did laundry, held me up, accompanied me to the toilet, showered me while I’m sitting down. I cried silently (and he knew) not because of the pain but I felt I couldn’t do my job as a wife and was asking myself whether I could walk again. I still couldn’t get back to work and so we went to the emergency to get my leg checked. I asked my gynaecologist whether I could get an X-ray because it’s quite harmful.
Eventually, we went ahead to do the X-ray to see if there’s fracture. I felt sad after that, I couldn’t speak, I just wanted an assurance from our baby girl that she’s still moving. Alhamdullilah, there’s no fracture. They cleaned up my wound by scraping the yellow pus until the skin was pink. Imagine washing your wound with alcohol or Dettol? On my ankle, in order not to feel pain, they gave me 3 times local anaesthesia injections then they scraped and washed it. I still couldn’t walk, I was on wheelchair.
They referred me to the polyclinic to wash and change my dressing every 3 days up till now. I’m still recovering but Alhamdullilah I’m back to work although my leg is still swollen. I had to buy a bigger shoe to fit my swollen leg.
It’s been almost a month and I’m currently at 30 weeks now. Only God knows how painful it is. We had few visitors who came to see us mainly our family members and my best friend.
Overall, there might be some hikmah towards the accident. During that period, we were suppose to celebrate our first anniversary overseas, the husband booked the the tickets before we knew we were pregnant. Although, we had the green light from our gynaecologist it’s prolly not safe to travel when we’re coming to third trimester.
Please pray for our safety and I hope I have the strength to fast during this Ramadan, insya Allah.
2016 has been a bitter sweet journey. It’s the year I got married, travelled to Europe, graduated with my degree and lastly, got pregnant. It was tough in the first half of the year. Gearing up for the wedding, preparing my last report after I got married, especially the submission period was during the fasting month. I was trying to stay sane being a wife, a part-time student and a full time worker.
Travelled to Europe 6 months later after the wedding with the husband after I’m done with school. It was the time of our life, travelling to Paris, Switz, Belgium, London, Venice and more. We almost practically covered most part of Europe.
I graduated the week we got back from Europe too. I felt so grateful that Allah granted my wish to graduate with the class. The most bitter part was our selection of our housing appointment got cancelled the day before. Cried a lot of times because it felt so ridiculous when the location is within my parents place yet we had double the ballot number against the flat supply.
Few weeks after, found out I got pregnant. That was sweet. I guess everything happens for a reason and that put my mind aside from the housing section. Overall, despite those bitter moments, I felt so grateful to accomplish a lot of things. Alhamdullilah, looking forward to our bundle of joy in 2017. Insya Allah.